It's like Frankie Cavanagh.... on acid....

It's a great phrase that one, on acid. People use it all the time and I don't think they consider what they're saying at all.

"It's like the Wombles, on acid." So what would that mean, exactly? Wombling free, they start to tidy up but get so fascinated with one Snickers wrapper they sit and stare at it for three hours and no one can rouse them? Cos that's the kind of thing people do on acid.

People use that phrase when they're trying to describe something or someone who's that little bit wackier, crazier or more fun than what they're comparing them to. But my experience is that people on acid are boring to be around. Sure, they're having a good time, busy in their head with all sorts of crap. They can examine the curve of the back of someone's head for an hour, and go on you about its shape, hypnotised by the golden ratio or some shit. They giggle to themselves and don't share the joke.

I once watched my boyfriend Jase on acid, sitting at his computer giggling at the titles of his junk mail. He kept reading the headers, then collapsing with how funny he thought it was. I have to admit, he did get me going after a while reading all that shit that comes through about bigger penises and more ejaculate, and Nigerian businessmen with money to give him if he would just send them his bank account details and passwords. It was even kind of funny when he decided to google 'Google' to see what would happen. Not much, obviously, but enough to make Jase fall on the floor and laugh for about an hour.

The two worst experiences of my life involved LSD. But I ain't going there here or now or anytime. All I'll say is that this bloke I knew, well, he was like Frankie Cavanagh on acid. And that's pretty mad, by anyone's standards, I got to admit.